Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Aug 30, 2006 8:18:33 GMT
For those of you who love Advent Children and feel extremely cheated because it had no blooper reel, this "good morning" treat is for you!
*****************
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children BLOOPERS!!!
Even the pros have their moments. The making of FF7: AC wasn't always gloom and doom-- there was plenty of mischief and misadventure on set. Just because they didn't make the DVD, that doesn't mean our favorite characters didn't make a few mistakes...
(Cue Benny Hill theme)
******************
Scene: At the end of the Cloud vs. Kadaj/Sephiroth ("Boss Battle") fight, the part in which Cloud's dying enemy has collapsed in his arms. The director has just called cut.
CLOUD: MY LEGS!!!
He drops Kadaj and stands up to get the kinks out of his joints. Kadaj starts to get up, but he can't stop laughing.
(Boop boop)
___________
Scene: The start of the same sequence, where Cloud is watching Kadaj on the top of the ruined ShinRa complex.
C: So what now?
K: Mother will tell me.
C: I guess "residents" don't get the memo...
Cloud realizes his mistake and breaks off into giggles. Kadaj rolls his eyes.
K: Have I ever mentioned I'm scared of heights?
Director: Keep rolling. Try again, boys.
K (faces camera): You know he's just keeping me up here to see if I'll puke, right?
Director: Action!
K (back in character): Mother will tell me.
C: I guess remnants don't get the "menu"...
Kadaj groans.
C: What?
K: "Menu"?
C: Sorry. (snickers) When is lunch break, anyway?
Cloud dissolves into laughter.
K (radio announcer voice): One more time!
C: All right, sorry. Let's do this. (he snickers again, but shakes his head)
Director: Ready, Cloud?
Cloud has a perfectly straight face for a moment. Then he gives up.
C: I guess "residents" don't get the "menu"!
He breaks into hysterical guffawing. Kadaj facepalms himself, shaking with supressed giggles.
C: Those poor residents!
Director (obviously annoyed): Guys...
C: All right, all right.
Director: From the top.
C: Okay.
Director: Ready, Kadaj?
K: I'm ready.
Director: Action!
K: I'm with her at last.
Cloud's face is blank... after so many takes, he's forgotten his first line altogether. He puts on a pleasant smile.
C: Do you realize you actually look like a woman?
Kadaj looks ready to deliver the next line, until what Cloud has said sinks in. He can't take it anymore-- he starts laughing uncontrollably.
K: You know... (laughs some more) ...I've been meaning to have a talk with the costume department about that...
He busts up entirely. The Director sighs in frustration.
Director: Okay, how about a five minute break?
(Boop boop)
____________
Scene: The middle of the "Boss Battle", where Cloud is trying to yank his swords out of the side of the building. Something goes wrong, though... they won't budge, and the effect with the roof (constructed entirely of Styrofoam) sliding down is already in motion!
The Styrofoam set piece conks Cloud in the head. Stunned, he drops from the swords to a green-screened stunt pad about two feet below, where the fake roof drops onto him. He sticks his arm out from under the piece, twitching like a crushed insect. Meanwhile, Sephiroth is suspended over the scene with stunt cables, looking completely flabbergasted.
S: Oh, sh**...
The crew rushes over to lift the fake roof off Cloud. He wobbles his way off the stunt pad, looking a little dazed. He flashes a thumbs-up at the camera as he weaves towards the medical trailer.
____________
Scene: Reno is wandering around some of the half-finished sets. Somebody with a camcorder is following.
R: OK, I'm shooting some stuff for my sister's kids... Check me out in my costume... Crazy hair, yeah?
He wanders a little farther, towards some of the actor's trailers.
R: I'm actually starting to dig this look. I might keep it when shooting's finished... Kinda like Harold Ramis did when he finished Ghostbusters...
He hears some familiar sound effects coming from Cloud's trailer.
R: Hello, what have we here?
He walks up to the trailer and opens the door, not bothering to knock. Cloud is inside playing Mortal Kombat: Deception against Sephiroth as Yazoo and Loz take bets in the corner on who's going to win this round.
Cloud notices Reno and does a double take.
C: HEY!
He pauses the match and gets up to escort Reno out, malice written in his expression.
R, smugly: Having a good time, guys?
C, mad as a hornet: I'm trying to get in my zone here! And who's the creep with the camera?
Cloud starts pushing Reno through the door.
R: So this is what you do when you say you're going to Starbucks...
C: If this shows up on the DVD, I swear...
R: Why wait for the DVD? This is going on YouTube, man!
Cloud unceremoniously shoves Reno out and slams the door hard enough to make the windows rattle behind him.
R: Touchy, touchy.
____________
Scene: Yuffie's entrance. She drops out of the sky on the parachute.
Y: Okay, who's been touching my materia?
The parachute drapes itself over Tifa and Denzel.
T (muffled): The bad guys, of course.
Yuffie facepalms herself and begins to giggle, looking askance at the camera.
Y: You know, that line sounds so wrong... "Who's been touching my materia?" Give me a break!
Director: Cut!
A microphone drops into view as a couple crew members start disentangling Tifa.
(Boop boop)
____________
Scene: The end of the opening chase scene between Cloud and the brothers, out on the open plains between the cliffs and the ruins of Midgar. Kadaj has just called off the shadowcreepers, and his brothers are riding away.
C (shouting after them): That's it! I've had enough of these motha-f***ing shadowcreepers on this motha-f***ing plain!
The entire crew engages in an enormous belly laugh and starts to applaud. Cloud takes a melodramatic bow.
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: The end of the battle on the church. Loz has just gotten up from the destroyed pews at the end of the church when his phone starts to ring... but instead of the victory theme, the ringtone has been changed to a clip of "I Like Big Butts".
Cell phone: I like big butts and I cannot lie, while other brothers may deny... (repeats twice)
Tifa covers Marlene's ears. Loz is stunned.
Loz: Don't look at me! I didn't... is that even my phone?
He answers the phone.
Director: Cut!
Loz (into the phone): D*** it, Yazoo, I told you not to mess with my ringtone, man!
Laughter erupts.
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: The beginning of the same sequence. Tifa and Marlene are just entering Aeris' church.
T: HOLY C***!
The camera swish pans. In the flower patch is a huge Audrey II puppet, moving around and shifting its weight.
A2 (sings with a distinctly feminine voice): Feed me, Seymour, feed me all night long...
Tifa blinks, unable to decide how to react. Aeris comes out from behind the puppet, where she has been operating it and singing into a headset microphone. She giggles insanely at Tifa's reaction. Marlene joins in and gives Aeris a hug.
T: Marlene, were you in on this? (looks around accusingly) Was anybody NOT in on this besides me?
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: Cloud has just slammed the door on Reno at the Healin Lodge. He tries to pull his hand away from the door handle as Rude enters... but he can't. His hand won't release. He yanks again more insistently, but he's thoroughly stuck. Meanwhile, Reno is outside, laughing his head off. Cloud takes a closer look.
C: Double stick tape... (he chuckles despite himself) Reno, you know I'll get you for this.
Reno howls at the hilarity of the situation. Cloud shakes his head.
C: Just wait till I get loose. You're gonna die. Death is coming for you, Reno.
Director: Cut!
(Boop boop)
______________
Scene: Kadaj has just finished his speech to the children at the Forgotten City. He walks into the water as the black fluid washes out of his suit.
K: Do as I do.
Director: Cut!
K (breaking character completely): This water is fr***in' freezing!
A chorus of children laughing is heard.
(Boop boop)
_______________
Scene: Cloud is on the way to the Forgotten City on his motorcycle. Suddenly, the front tire hits a tree root and the cycle spins out. The cycle tips onto its side, wheels still spinning in the air, with Cloud still on it. The cycle slides out of view.
C (offscreen): Son of a b****!
(Boop boop)
_______________
Scene: Loz punches the base of the glowing tree in the Forgotten City fight scene, trying to shatter it. He makes no visible impact on the tree at all.
L: Yeow!!!
He pulls his fist back and cradles it.
L: Speak to me, hand!
(Boop boop)
________________
Scene: Start of the Bahamut sequence. Tifa is trying to get Denzel's attention. Instead of standing there with his head down, he glances up at her and blows a raspberry. Tifa can't keep herself from giggling.
Director: Cut!
(Boop boop)
________________
Scene: One last blooper from the "Boss Battle". Kadaj has just transformed into Sephiroth.
S: Nice to see you again, Cloud.
Music starts to play, but instead of "One Winged Angel", it's Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen".
Stevie Nicks: Just like a one-winged dove, sing a song, sounds like she's singin'...
Sephiroth leaves Cloud dangling on his stunt wires and walks off, shaking his head and laughing.
S: I can't work like this!
Cloud watches him go and starts doing the robot on his wires.
C (high-pitched): I'm a real boy!
(Boop boop)
END GAG REEL
*****************
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children BLOOPERS!!!
Even the pros have their moments. The making of FF7: AC wasn't always gloom and doom-- there was plenty of mischief and misadventure on set. Just because they didn't make the DVD, that doesn't mean our favorite characters didn't make a few mistakes...
(Cue Benny Hill theme)
******************
Scene: At the end of the Cloud vs. Kadaj/Sephiroth ("Boss Battle") fight, the part in which Cloud's dying enemy has collapsed in his arms. The director has just called cut.
CLOUD: MY LEGS!!!
He drops Kadaj and stands up to get the kinks out of his joints. Kadaj starts to get up, but he can't stop laughing.
(Boop boop)
___________
Scene: The start of the same sequence, where Cloud is watching Kadaj on the top of the ruined ShinRa complex.
C: So what now?
K: Mother will tell me.
C: I guess "residents" don't get the memo...
Cloud realizes his mistake and breaks off into giggles. Kadaj rolls his eyes.
K: Have I ever mentioned I'm scared of heights?
Director: Keep rolling. Try again, boys.
K (faces camera): You know he's just keeping me up here to see if I'll puke, right?
Director: Action!
K (back in character): Mother will tell me.
C: I guess remnants don't get the "menu"...
Kadaj groans.
C: What?
K: "Menu"?
C: Sorry. (snickers) When is lunch break, anyway?
Cloud dissolves into laughter.
K (radio announcer voice): One more time!
C: All right, sorry. Let's do this. (he snickers again, but shakes his head)
Director: Ready, Cloud?
Cloud has a perfectly straight face for a moment. Then he gives up.
C: I guess "residents" don't get the "menu"!
He breaks into hysterical guffawing. Kadaj facepalms himself, shaking with supressed giggles.
C: Those poor residents!
Director (obviously annoyed): Guys...
C: All right, all right.
Director: From the top.
C: Okay.
Director: Ready, Kadaj?
K: I'm ready.
Director: Action!
K: I'm with her at last.
Cloud's face is blank... after so many takes, he's forgotten his first line altogether. He puts on a pleasant smile.
C: Do you realize you actually look like a woman?
Kadaj looks ready to deliver the next line, until what Cloud has said sinks in. He can't take it anymore-- he starts laughing uncontrollably.
K: You know... (laughs some more) ...I've been meaning to have a talk with the costume department about that...
He busts up entirely. The Director sighs in frustration.
Director: Okay, how about a five minute break?
(Boop boop)
____________
Scene: The middle of the "Boss Battle", where Cloud is trying to yank his swords out of the side of the building. Something goes wrong, though... they won't budge, and the effect with the roof (constructed entirely of Styrofoam) sliding down is already in motion!
The Styrofoam set piece conks Cloud in the head. Stunned, he drops from the swords to a green-screened stunt pad about two feet below, where the fake roof drops onto him. He sticks his arm out from under the piece, twitching like a crushed insect. Meanwhile, Sephiroth is suspended over the scene with stunt cables, looking completely flabbergasted.
S: Oh, sh**...
The crew rushes over to lift the fake roof off Cloud. He wobbles his way off the stunt pad, looking a little dazed. He flashes a thumbs-up at the camera as he weaves towards the medical trailer.
____________
Scene: Reno is wandering around some of the half-finished sets. Somebody with a camcorder is following.
R: OK, I'm shooting some stuff for my sister's kids... Check me out in my costume... Crazy hair, yeah?
He wanders a little farther, towards some of the actor's trailers.
R: I'm actually starting to dig this look. I might keep it when shooting's finished... Kinda like Harold Ramis did when he finished Ghostbusters...
He hears some familiar sound effects coming from Cloud's trailer.
R: Hello, what have we here?
He walks up to the trailer and opens the door, not bothering to knock. Cloud is inside playing Mortal Kombat: Deception against Sephiroth as Yazoo and Loz take bets in the corner on who's going to win this round.
Cloud notices Reno and does a double take.
C: HEY!
He pauses the match and gets up to escort Reno out, malice written in his expression.
R, smugly: Having a good time, guys?
C, mad as a hornet: I'm trying to get in my zone here! And who's the creep with the camera?
Cloud starts pushing Reno through the door.
R: So this is what you do when you say you're going to Starbucks...
C: If this shows up on the DVD, I swear...
R: Why wait for the DVD? This is going on YouTube, man!
Cloud unceremoniously shoves Reno out and slams the door hard enough to make the windows rattle behind him.
R: Touchy, touchy.
____________
Scene: Yuffie's entrance. She drops out of the sky on the parachute.
Y: Okay, who's been touching my materia?
The parachute drapes itself over Tifa and Denzel.
T (muffled): The bad guys, of course.
Yuffie facepalms herself and begins to giggle, looking askance at the camera.
Y: You know, that line sounds so wrong... "Who's been touching my materia?" Give me a break!
Director: Cut!
A microphone drops into view as a couple crew members start disentangling Tifa.
(Boop boop)
____________
Scene: The end of the opening chase scene between Cloud and the brothers, out on the open plains between the cliffs and the ruins of Midgar. Kadaj has just called off the shadowcreepers, and his brothers are riding away.
C (shouting after them): That's it! I've had enough of these motha-f***ing shadowcreepers on this motha-f***ing plain!
The entire crew engages in an enormous belly laugh and starts to applaud. Cloud takes a melodramatic bow.
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: The end of the battle on the church. Loz has just gotten up from the destroyed pews at the end of the church when his phone starts to ring... but instead of the victory theme, the ringtone has been changed to a clip of "I Like Big Butts".
Cell phone: I like big butts and I cannot lie, while other brothers may deny... (repeats twice)
Tifa covers Marlene's ears. Loz is stunned.
Loz: Don't look at me! I didn't... is that even my phone?
He answers the phone.
Director: Cut!
Loz (into the phone): D*** it, Yazoo, I told you not to mess with my ringtone, man!
Laughter erupts.
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: The beginning of the same sequence. Tifa and Marlene are just entering Aeris' church.
T: HOLY C***!
The camera swish pans. In the flower patch is a huge Audrey II puppet, moving around and shifting its weight.
A2 (sings with a distinctly feminine voice): Feed me, Seymour, feed me all night long...
Tifa blinks, unable to decide how to react. Aeris comes out from behind the puppet, where she has been operating it and singing into a headset microphone. She giggles insanely at Tifa's reaction. Marlene joins in and gives Aeris a hug.
T: Marlene, were you in on this? (looks around accusingly) Was anybody NOT in on this besides me?
(Boop boop)
_____________
Scene: Cloud has just slammed the door on Reno at the Healin Lodge. He tries to pull his hand away from the door handle as Rude enters... but he can't. His hand won't release. He yanks again more insistently, but he's thoroughly stuck. Meanwhile, Reno is outside, laughing his head off. Cloud takes a closer look.
C: Double stick tape... (he chuckles despite himself) Reno, you know I'll get you for this.
Reno howls at the hilarity of the situation. Cloud shakes his head.
C: Just wait till I get loose. You're gonna die. Death is coming for you, Reno.
Director: Cut!
(Boop boop)
______________
Scene: Kadaj has just finished his speech to the children at the Forgotten City. He walks into the water as the black fluid washes out of his suit.
K: Do as I do.
Director: Cut!
K (breaking character completely): This water is fr***in' freezing!
A chorus of children laughing is heard.
(Boop boop)
_______________
Scene: Cloud is on the way to the Forgotten City on his motorcycle. Suddenly, the front tire hits a tree root and the cycle spins out. The cycle tips onto its side, wheels still spinning in the air, with Cloud still on it. The cycle slides out of view.
C (offscreen): Son of a b****!
(Boop boop)
_______________
Scene: Loz punches the base of the glowing tree in the Forgotten City fight scene, trying to shatter it. He makes no visible impact on the tree at all.
L: Yeow!!!
He pulls his fist back and cradles it.
L: Speak to me, hand!
(Boop boop)
________________
Scene: Start of the Bahamut sequence. Tifa is trying to get Denzel's attention. Instead of standing there with his head down, he glances up at her and blows a raspberry. Tifa can't keep herself from giggling.
Director: Cut!
(Boop boop)
________________
Scene: One last blooper from the "Boss Battle". Kadaj has just transformed into Sephiroth.
S: Nice to see you again, Cloud.
Music starts to play, but instead of "One Winged Angel", it's Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen".
Stevie Nicks: Just like a one-winged dove, sing a song, sounds like she's singin'...
Sephiroth leaves Cloud dangling on his stunt wires and walks off, shaking his head and laughing.
S: I can't work like this!
Cloud watches him go and starts doing the robot on his wires.
C (high-pitched): I'm a real boy!
(Boop boop)
END GAG REEL
