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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 9, 2006 23:35:40 GMT
Let's face it- this board moves awfully slowly sometimes. So what do we do when it gets so easy to swap "board" with "bored"?
MOCK RP!!!
In the thread you view before you, you may RP in any fashion you would like, as silly as you like, no holds barred. If you want to portray a female version of Sephiroth with the power to drop flaming bunnies of doom on your enemy's head, DO IT. Break the rules. Godmode. Be as ridiculous as possible. Try to view it as a parody of the game, or of the movie, or of the RP, or of life in general. There is one rule, and one rule only- DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY! Remember, if someone kills you, by gum, you're invincible!
I'll start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gdosimirj walks off the set of RP for a quick breather. She slumps in the chair by the watercooler in the back of the room, drawing a cup of water and slurping it down greedily. Suddenly, she drops her cup as a deep voice addresses her.
"Come with me if you want to live."
Oh no! It's the Terminator!!!!
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 9, 2006 23:42:58 GMT
Kadaj strolls in, his silver wig half falling off. "Hey, Sunny, what's going--" He drops his sword. "HOLY C**P! Since when was Arnold Schwarzenegger in this movie?!"
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 9, 2006 23:50:55 GMT
The Govenator turns around. "Don't call her Sunny. I'll break your face." He turns back to Gdosimirj and grabs her by the wrist. "The future of the boards is in your hands. You must survive."
She tilts her head. "I didn't think the Kidd transportational problem was that serious. But can't we discuss that later? I've got a job to do. I have to stand around and look like I'm concentrating until someone posts at the Fort thread." She starts inching away from Arnold.
"Negative. My primary function is to ensure your survival. Standing around doesn't look very flashy when it comes to action flicks about surviving things."
He slings her over his back and makes a break for it, Gdosimirj screaming all the way.
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 9, 2006 23:57:10 GMT
Kadaj face-palms himself. "This is bad, isn't it?"
He marches back onto the set, where everybody is drinking coffee and swapping dirty jokes.
"And so she looks over at her husband and sets it back down in her lap and she says... hee hee... 'Honey, this one's eating my popcorn'!" Rude breaks from his punchline into uproarious laughter.
Reno shakes his head. And people say I'm over the top.
Kadaj spoke up. "Hey, guys, a robot from the future just kidnapped the blingified chick."
Ami rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. And we also all live in the Matrix. I've had enough of your random sci-fi jokes..."
"I'm really not kidding."
"I'm really not amused."
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 10, 2006 0:08:03 GMT
ge,Meantime, back at the ranch...
The Terminator is hiding behind a random tree that I suspect he put there an hour ago just for the purpose of hiding behind it. Gdosimirj is still draped over his back, but has stopped kicking and screaming and instead crosses her arms, looking bored.
"Okay, so what are we hiding from?"
Arnold shushes her, looking intently into the countryside. Then he points. "There! By that cave!"
Gdosimirj squints. "What, the rabbit? Surely you must be joking."
He glares at her. "I never joke. And don't call me Shirley."
She frowns. "But it's a rabbit! You made it out like it's some flesh eating Venom-imitator or something..."
"It is."
"What?!"
"Look at all the bones!"
Gdosimirj facepalms herself.
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 10, 2006 0:17:24 GMT
Kadaj is getting tired of everybody else thinking he's only trying to play with their heads. He leaves in a huff to see if he can help Sunset out.
He comes to a screeching halt as he notices something odd. "Where'd that tree come from?"
He looks again and sees Arnoldo hanging around behind the tree with Sunset. "From Austria with love," he remarks snarkily. "You coulda told us you were doing the nasty with the Last Action Hero."
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 10, 2006 0:22:14 GMT
Arnold sets Gdosimirj down, after which she immediately leaps out from behind the tree and into Kadaj. "You gotta help me! There's something wrong with the Govenator's circuits! He's obsessed with small furry white rabbits and he thinks I can stop them! Surely there's something you can do..."
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 10, 2006 0:24:25 GMT
"I don't think so. This sword is made of rubber. And please stop calling people Shirley." He extracts himself from Sunny. "And by the way... I get enough of this kinda action from the Silver Hair Fetish Club, so cut me a break, OK?"
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 10, 2006 0:30:50 GMT
"RUBBER?! What slob-job prop company do you buy from? Now see, these here hand-held machine guns got real ammo. They do the job!" She pulls them out like a western gun-slinger and fires a couple of rounds towards the road.... only nothing happens. "What in tarnation?!" She fiddles with them a bit. "Dad-gum fake guns... worked just fine before-" She fires off a few rounds towards the tree, which hit Arnold in the leg.
He pokes his head out from his hiding place, which he's still in for some reason. "Don't do that!"
Gdosimirj shudders. "Creepy."
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 10, 2006 0:32:32 GMT
Kadaj blinks. "What the c**p?"
He looks at Arnold. "That was random." He gives the landscape a cursory glance. "What's with all the bones, dude?"
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 11, 2006 1:57:10 GMT
Arnold vanishes in a pouf of smoke.
Gdosimirj gasps. "Oh my gosh! You found his secret self-destruct password! I've been trying to figure that one out for weeks..." (Rushes onward so you don't notice the obvious timeline incongruency.) "Er, so I've always wanted to ask you this question, but I've never quite gotten around to it... WHY is it that you look like a girl?"
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 11, 2006 2:22:56 GMT
He facepalmed himself. "Because I got into a furious argument witht the makeup artists on the first day of shooting and she took it out on me for the rest of the filming schedule," he groaned.
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Post by Gdosimirj Sunset on Oct 21, 2006 16:28:27 GMT
"And what about Yazoo?" She raised her eyebrows evilly. "That excuse doesn't hold water unless he was involved with the argument. I say, bull. You two are just closet transvestites."
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Post by Amnesty Lazuli on Oct 21, 2006 18:53:28 GMT
Kadaj facepalmed. "I swear upon my soul and on my mother's grave I am not, nor have I ever been, gay, transvestite, transsexual, etcetera, etcetera."
Loz came up behind him. "Sure, that's what you say NOW..." He smirked and held up some photos of Kadaj in a dress.
Kadaj rushed him. "D**n it, Loz! You FORCED me to wear that thing on a bet! Remember? On whether or not Tifa wears a corset?"
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Post by Squall on Oct 30, 2006 21:30:47 GMT
"Queer" * kicks Kadaj in the gonads*
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