Post by *~Nikkole~* on Nov 15, 2006 3:46:59 GMT
okay, i know this has nothing to do with final fantas but i need feed back. feel free to post your comments and such after each chapter. i really need ideas for a book i'm trying to finish. so here we go
Chapter One
Steam rose in a blackened cloud around a train as it passed through hills and fields. The rhythmic thudding of the tracks prevented ay and all thought. Numbed by the feeling, Kaiile sat all alone in a dreary cabin. The ache in his head from lack of sleep rendered it impossible to think, let alone move. The constant throbbing kept him from trying to leave; instead it pushed him back into the painful reality.
Miles of trees and various land marks passed by his window as the train continued to move forward. Kaiile couldn’t help but feel like the whole world was passing him by, and not bothering to stop to say hello. It was like it could not see him. His stomach churned and knotted at the thought. Invisible.
Rain drops raced down the cold window flaked with snow and ice. More drops fell across the barren land. Sprays of water clouded up most of his view; his even but shallow breathing creating condensation to hide the rest. What a dreary day....
Two tired, weary eyes stared out from under long this strands of greasy black hair. It clung to his gaunt cheeks and fell to his shoulders. Most of it covered the sides of his face and eyes. Kaiile ran his tongue over chapped and lightly parted lips; it only made him look more tired.
The cabin door slid open and to Kaiile’s mild dismay, three young teens walked in. they were young, well trimmed boys of what Kaiile thought to be wealthy background. It was first noticed how loud they were; Kaiile almost thought he went deaf after being in silence for so long. They were all three wearing the Academy’s uniforms. The outfit could belong to no other. With their crisp white shirts, deep red slacks, midnight blue blazers and matching ties they looked a lot like clones of each other. Kaiile the noticed the crest of the school and then their grade embroidered on the collar. He cringed inwardly. Upperclassmen, great.
The closest boy looked over, finally seeing Kaiile. He stared before nudging the boy next to him. “Hey, hey Robert,’’ the boy nudged him a little harder. “That kid doesn’t look so good.’’ His pale eyes studied Kaiile with growing concern. “Do you think he’s hurt?’’
Robert, obviously their leader, looked over at him. He raised a brow before looking over at Kaiile. ‘’he’s obviously sleeping, Norton. Stop being such a worry wart.’’ He rolled his eyes.
Norton blinked at him, thoroughly confused “with his eyes open?’’ he was answered with a sharp backhand, along with it a deep glare.
“You will do well not to correct me.’’ Robert’s eyes narrowed. Norton nodded and shrank back.
The smallest of the three, a young blond haired boy with huge innocent blue eyes, leaned over and gently poked Kaiile. ‘’hey kid. Hey.’’ He said timidly before poking him again.
Kaiile, up until this point, had remained unmoved by their presence. But he was jolted back to reality by the boys touch. He jumped, startled by the boys’ closeness. With slow, reluctant movements Kaiile lifted his head and turned it to look at him. Under the mangled, greasy lock of hair his green eyes bore into him. The intensity made the boy back up and gasp, alerting the other two.
Robert, seeing Kaiile's open hostility, huffed and pulled his friends away. “Come on you guys. Lets go.’’ With that the three left.
Kaiile let his head fall back against the window with a sigh. He had endured his first upperclassmen experience. He fell back into the trance as the humming and thudding took his mind away. His eyes closed but no dreams or sleep came.
After what seemed to be forever, but was really only about ten minutes, the cabin door slid open again. Kaiile, again, made no effort to more from his pathetic mass of fur and black hair. His massive minx coat concealed his thin and withering frame. A young man stepped in quietly; he was alone and seemed calm. Kaiile couldn’t see very much of him but could already smell the strong and alluring cologne. The young man slid the door shut and sat across from Kaiile. He wore a grin across his well-defined and sharp face.
Long and silent minutes passed, neither of them spoke and Kaiile didn’t move to break the awkward silence. The other occupant had, in the silence, turned to staring longingly and hopefully out the window. Kaiile took this time to steal a look at his new and unexpected guest.
The man sitting across from him was young, maybe seventeen. He was muscular and still had a faded summer tan. His dark golden blond locks swayed and seemed to come alive every time he moved. Dark and thoughtful eyes watched the dreary scenery with a strange intensity and life. He was over all well-bred and of most likely higher status. His father was probably the owner of a wealthy business or his mother related to the queen.
The man must have seen him watching because he looked over, not only his lips but also his eyes were grinning. He made gesture similar to a wave and held out a strong and firm hand. “Names Vadir, yours?’’ his voice was low and calming, as if he were talking to a spooked horse. He seemed to wait cheerfully for Kaiile's response.
Kaiile was taken aback by his strange gestures; he stared at him in almost curiosity. He held the same intense gaze as earlier, though this time it was not cold or hostile. His piercing green eyes bore into Vadir, which made the man wonder if he should just pull his hand away.
After a few moments Kaiile slowly and wearily pulled a slender and pale hand out from under his thick fur coat. This made Vadir wonder if the boy had ever seen a bed in his life. Kaiile slowly reached forward and shook his hand halfheartedly and awkwardly.
Vadir held back a gasp at the icy nature of the boy’s hands. He wondered why they could be so cold when they had been in those warm pockets the whole time.
Vadir tried to shake off the awkwardness by focusing on not crushing the frail hand. The grin remained as he sat back and waited for Kaiile to say something. He was slightly disappointed when Kaiile quickly pulled his hand away and hid it away in the layers of fur and cloth. He slunk back and turned his now saddened eyes back out the window.
Vadir sighed heavily and shifted his weight. He jumped to the conclusion that the boy would not tell him anything. He watched him carefully, looking for anything unusual. Besides from the fact that the boy was in serious need of a good meal, a warm bed and a hair cut, there was nothing that really stood out to him. He looked now at Kaiile's face. His soft almost feminine features were hidden under a mop of black hair. He sighed; the kid could be quite comely if he tried. But that was out of the question, right now he needed to know his name.
A small leather bound book lay beside Kaiile, a small digital camera sitting on top of it. Vadir blinked and sighed, this was pointless to try and figure out. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He had the growing feeling that this was going to be a very long trip.
kay. theres chapter one. leve your comments please!^^ thankies.
Chapter One
Steam rose in a blackened cloud around a train as it passed through hills and fields. The rhythmic thudding of the tracks prevented ay and all thought. Numbed by the feeling, Kaiile sat all alone in a dreary cabin. The ache in his head from lack of sleep rendered it impossible to think, let alone move. The constant throbbing kept him from trying to leave; instead it pushed him back into the painful reality.
Miles of trees and various land marks passed by his window as the train continued to move forward. Kaiile couldn’t help but feel like the whole world was passing him by, and not bothering to stop to say hello. It was like it could not see him. His stomach churned and knotted at the thought. Invisible.
Rain drops raced down the cold window flaked with snow and ice. More drops fell across the barren land. Sprays of water clouded up most of his view; his even but shallow breathing creating condensation to hide the rest. What a dreary day....
Two tired, weary eyes stared out from under long this strands of greasy black hair. It clung to his gaunt cheeks and fell to his shoulders. Most of it covered the sides of his face and eyes. Kaiile ran his tongue over chapped and lightly parted lips; it only made him look more tired.
The cabin door slid open and to Kaiile’s mild dismay, three young teens walked in. they were young, well trimmed boys of what Kaiile thought to be wealthy background. It was first noticed how loud they were; Kaiile almost thought he went deaf after being in silence for so long. They were all three wearing the Academy’s uniforms. The outfit could belong to no other. With their crisp white shirts, deep red slacks, midnight blue blazers and matching ties they looked a lot like clones of each other. Kaiile the noticed the crest of the school and then their grade embroidered on the collar. He cringed inwardly. Upperclassmen, great.
The closest boy looked over, finally seeing Kaiile. He stared before nudging the boy next to him. “Hey, hey Robert,’’ the boy nudged him a little harder. “That kid doesn’t look so good.’’ His pale eyes studied Kaiile with growing concern. “Do you think he’s hurt?’’
Robert, obviously their leader, looked over at him. He raised a brow before looking over at Kaiile. ‘’he’s obviously sleeping, Norton. Stop being such a worry wart.’’ He rolled his eyes.
Norton blinked at him, thoroughly confused “with his eyes open?’’ he was answered with a sharp backhand, along with it a deep glare.
“You will do well not to correct me.’’ Robert’s eyes narrowed. Norton nodded and shrank back.
The smallest of the three, a young blond haired boy with huge innocent blue eyes, leaned over and gently poked Kaiile. ‘’hey kid. Hey.’’ He said timidly before poking him again.
Kaiile, up until this point, had remained unmoved by their presence. But he was jolted back to reality by the boys touch. He jumped, startled by the boys’ closeness. With slow, reluctant movements Kaiile lifted his head and turned it to look at him. Under the mangled, greasy lock of hair his green eyes bore into him. The intensity made the boy back up and gasp, alerting the other two.
Robert, seeing Kaiile's open hostility, huffed and pulled his friends away. “Come on you guys. Lets go.’’ With that the three left.
Kaiile let his head fall back against the window with a sigh. He had endured his first upperclassmen experience. He fell back into the trance as the humming and thudding took his mind away. His eyes closed but no dreams or sleep came.
After what seemed to be forever, but was really only about ten minutes, the cabin door slid open again. Kaiile, again, made no effort to more from his pathetic mass of fur and black hair. His massive minx coat concealed his thin and withering frame. A young man stepped in quietly; he was alone and seemed calm. Kaiile couldn’t see very much of him but could already smell the strong and alluring cologne. The young man slid the door shut and sat across from Kaiile. He wore a grin across his well-defined and sharp face.
Long and silent minutes passed, neither of them spoke and Kaiile didn’t move to break the awkward silence. The other occupant had, in the silence, turned to staring longingly and hopefully out the window. Kaiile took this time to steal a look at his new and unexpected guest.
The man sitting across from him was young, maybe seventeen. He was muscular and still had a faded summer tan. His dark golden blond locks swayed and seemed to come alive every time he moved. Dark and thoughtful eyes watched the dreary scenery with a strange intensity and life. He was over all well-bred and of most likely higher status. His father was probably the owner of a wealthy business or his mother related to the queen.
The man must have seen him watching because he looked over, not only his lips but also his eyes were grinning. He made gesture similar to a wave and held out a strong and firm hand. “Names Vadir, yours?’’ his voice was low and calming, as if he were talking to a spooked horse. He seemed to wait cheerfully for Kaiile's response.
Kaiile was taken aback by his strange gestures; he stared at him in almost curiosity. He held the same intense gaze as earlier, though this time it was not cold or hostile. His piercing green eyes bore into Vadir, which made the man wonder if he should just pull his hand away.
After a few moments Kaiile slowly and wearily pulled a slender and pale hand out from under his thick fur coat. This made Vadir wonder if the boy had ever seen a bed in his life. Kaiile slowly reached forward and shook his hand halfheartedly and awkwardly.
Vadir held back a gasp at the icy nature of the boy’s hands. He wondered why they could be so cold when they had been in those warm pockets the whole time.
Vadir tried to shake off the awkwardness by focusing on not crushing the frail hand. The grin remained as he sat back and waited for Kaiile to say something. He was slightly disappointed when Kaiile quickly pulled his hand away and hid it away in the layers of fur and cloth. He slunk back and turned his now saddened eyes back out the window.
Vadir sighed heavily and shifted his weight. He jumped to the conclusion that the boy would not tell him anything. He watched him carefully, looking for anything unusual. Besides from the fact that the boy was in serious need of a good meal, a warm bed and a hair cut, there was nothing that really stood out to him. He looked now at Kaiile's face. His soft almost feminine features were hidden under a mop of black hair. He sighed; the kid could be quite comely if he tried. But that was out of the question, right now he needed to know his name.
A small leather bound book lay beside Kaiile, a small digital camera sitting on top of it. Vadir blinked and sighed, this was pointless to try and figure out. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He had the growing feeling that this was going to be a very long trip.
kay. theres chapter one. leve your comments please!^^ thankies.
